:::Tantra:::

I recently got into a conversation with a friend about Tantra. He’s been practicing for 6 months and therefore has not had a single orgasm at all in those 6 months. This sounded crazy and entirely inconceivable but the more he explained it to me the more it made absolute sense.

Now, guys, think about what normally happens when you climax; you release, you relax. The fire has been put out, and at this moment you're either lighting up a cigarette or halfway to sleep. Now think about what happens when you don’t for a really long time; you're super-horny, your energy levels rise, your body is really sensitive, and sex has never felt so good. By not coming, your sexual energy builds and builds which greatly heightens the sensations of sex.

Personally, I love lengthy, exhausting sex that puts me into a slumber coma after I have a full blown orgasm. However, I kinda want to give Tantra a try because I think it has a lot to offer. I’m not seeing my girlfriend for another two weeks so I have plenty of time to ‘save my chi’ and just build that tantric vitality so when the time comes the sex will be mindblowing. To prepare for the necessary 'ejaculatory longevity,' I’ve been doing 'bagels' (ball kegels) where you tighten your prostate like you have to pee then release. These exercises are supposed to really help strengthen your prostate and give you more control over your orgasm. For specific instructions click here.

From what I understand a core purpose of Tantra is to suspend the duration of lovemaking by taking the focus away from the orgasm and redirecting it towards the sex itself so that you can enjoy every hot minute through your awareness of the current pleasure as opposed to the upcoming climax. I do think that when it comes to making love, most people fixate on either having an orgasm themself or giving one to their partner. It can get to the point where we miss out on all the zesty pleasures of the sex itself and consequently don’t even enjoy the orgasm as much as we're capable of because of the pressure we put ourselves under.

In considering this, I think I began to understand greater meanings of Tantra. Tantra strides to ultimately cultivate a strong focus on the present as opposed to the future or the past. I feel that many of us, me included, focus greatly on what is yet to come (no pun intended) as opposed to what is right in front of us. We are not able to absorb and enjoy the simple pleasures and moments in our lives because we are too focused on other things in the distance. Tantra is intended to enable people to regard life, as well as sex, as a vast and enjoyable journey; not an eventual destination.

I'm starting to like the idea of it more and more,

thanks for reading,

Photograph courtesy of MuseumWholesale.com (the statue itself can be purchased at this site)